Saturday, January 17, 2009


Well it's been a while and so much has happened since the last time I blogged. Obama reigns supreme and all will be well with the world in a matter of a couple of short YEARS. As many know, I was/am a huge Hillary supporter and believe she will make a great president some day. But for now, I'm delighted that she will be in the role of Secretary of State. There's so much wrong within our country and outside the glorious "sea to shining sea", that I cannot help but root for our new president and wish him the best minds our country has to offer. In doing so, I'm rooting for our country as well... partisan politics will be destroy our fragile state. We must find common ground where we can and go from there.

Personally, I've been great! Doing a lot of performing and the like. All goes well with the career. In fact, there are some changes on the horizon and I will be excited to tell you about them in the coming weeks!

So, I'm back and we'll see what kinds of trouble I can get into with all five people that read this blog!!!!

That is all...

Thursday, April 17, 2008

And these are the enlightened ones????


Foxnews reporting on a Yale ART student who claims to use her own blood samples as well as video of "self-induced" ABORTIONS for a senior project.

According to the story, art major Aliza Shvarts inseminated herself "as often as possible" then took drugs to induce miscarriages all while collecting blood and tissue samples for display. And if that's not bad enough, this whack job video taped the miscarriages in order to show at her "exhibit".

What the hell was this lunatic thinking? Shvart said the goal of the project was to "encourage debate and discussion about the connection between art and the human body". I think we should do another project where she's in a room full of woman who are grieving the loss of a child and see the connection between her face and the back of the mother's hands. Or better yet, lets do an exhibit of her sitting in a jail cell for the rest of her life and discuss the connection between her ass and cold concrete!

Ivy league? Higher learning? For real? Give me a frackin brake!

Read the full story here:

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Dude looks like a lady....


Ok so I just had a delightful lunch with some friends who were utterly glowing about the precocious and enlightening and brilliant nature of my blog. It has that affect on people...It's that good!

A question arose concerning my blog entitled, "Say What?" and the ever-so delicate nature of the information contained within. My friend...oh let's call her Linda....not to be confused with the hooker Sheila in a previous blog. Anyway, Linda kept referring to Thomas Beatie as a "he" and while he/she is certainly living as a man, I wanted to clear up a few technicalities.

First...."Thomas Beatie" has a hoo-hah not a wank-wank. He/She decided to start taking testosterone in order to grow facial hair, start spitting, and enjoy football. Now he/she had surgery to remove her breastular regions but opted to keep all her feminine wiles... i.e. her hoo-hah. However, an interesting side effect of the testosterone was that a particular portion of the hoo-hah region grew into a miniature wank-wank....according to Oprah the Great we're talkin' gherkin here people! Apparently the little wank-wank allows for normal "gettin' your grove on" moments...but I digress.

"Thomas' " wife is unable to bear children which left the burden of lineage up to the he/she of the household. Now here's the kicker...Thomas is still a woman in the netherland region so as far as offspring were concerned, they were workin' with a blank check...if ya know what I mean! He/she decided to forgo testosterone in order to carry to term a healthy baby and not some martian with three eyes and a lisp.

So as the story is told, he/she and the little mrs. went to a veterinary clinic of a friend to retrieve a turkey baster or a rooster inseminator ...whatever! They then went to the wack-wack bank to retrieve the vitamin fortified juice. They then went home where the little mrs. loaded up the rooster inseminator with the vitamin fortified juice which, in turn, is inserted and delivered in the hoo-hah. A little shimmy shake and BOOM he/she is due in June.


That is all...

INDEED


I find people rather strange at times. I can only assume that they find me strange at times. What I find even more strange is that people seem to take themselves FAR to seriously and allow the most minute and mundane of happenings to derail what would be a rather pleasant day. I can wake up in the morning refreshed and ready to tackle whatever life has to offer yet the smallest amount of trite and insignificant whining can reset the course of my day. The beginnings of a most lovely day can so easily be tainted by the opinions and views of others.

How then do we as human beings continue to function in a frail, and oft times, mean and bitter world? The idea that I allow others to impact my daily well being is preposterous. How can I function as a productive individual in society and not be affected by the most baseless and inane insults often hurled at the most inappropriate and unsuspecting moments? Do I coil and retreat to the safety of my personal cave? Do I become a loner in order to never face the glare of ridicule or criticism? Do I learn what it means to grow thick skin and endure senseless attacks upon my persona and process without a thought of the opinions of others? To do so would create a callous and jaded soul that, in all honesty, would be useless in and for society in general.

But what great fear we have that such ridiculous and offensive behavior would often be committed by those we have allowed beyond the Great Wall. Beyond the place where most of humanity will never see. The secret garden of our souls reserved for the few who would walk among the beautiful rose bushes with its enticing aroma and beauty. These are they who have breached the barrier of the shallow and have moved into the deep waters of committed kindred spirit. It is here that I remain the most vulnerable and unprotected from the cruel nature of human kind. It is here that wounds are made so intense that recovery seems far far out of reach. It is here, within this sacred space that the mortal wounds of trusted visitors can reek havoc and permanent devastation. Do I shut down and close the garden?

But along with such fragrant beauty and splendor comes the reality of thorns. Yes, thorns that from time to time prick the hearts of those who wander through your lush landscape. The unsuspecting admirer who takes a moment to saunter through your garden finds themselves at times wounded and bleeding. These thorns of reality remind your visitors of the humanity of your garden and the risk of such a venture beyond the shallow depths of impersonal contact. It is here, in this space that human nature is revealed in its most raw and unaltered state. There is beauty and texture and blue skies here but from time to time reality pricks our souls and we are left changed.

I have scars. I have been that unsuspecting wanderer who has been hurt in the most vulnerable spaces of security. I have been wounded by those who carry the label of friend and with whom have traveled along life's great journey. I have thorns. I have hurt and marred those who have dared to go beyond the Great Wall. I have, at times, an unkept garden.

But I don't see my scars as a sign of weakness or as moments of lapse in judgement, rather, a signal of an enduring spirit in a never ending quest for connection. The invitation to my garden is rare but the stay is worth the wait and effort. The promises of thornless beauty is futile but the realization of healing is the balm of Gilead. Who dares to walk here? Who dares to tread such unknown paths? Only those whose human evolution has allowed them to rise above the mundane and ridiculous notion of perfection and to see themselves in a flawed and warped mirror. To see themselves as others see them; dangerously beautiful, elegant with shades of brutality, a garden full of roses and thorns.

I love a brilliant rose garden.



That is all....

Monday, April 14, 2008

Prison can do WONDERS for people!


I LOVE MARTHA!


That is all....

Hi Ho-Hi Ho- It's back to work I go!



Well the vaca is over. The weekend was uneventful....well if you call a hooker name Sheila uneventful!

But seriously. I went out Saturday night with some friends and we had a delightful time. We drank and ate and made fun of people. Ya know, the usual weekend fare. I was up until like 3am....it's amazing the kind of people that are up at 3am on a Sunday morning. I met this guy named Stinton....he had one eye...a glass eye...so basically he couldn't see me. But for some strange reason I felt the need to shout at him like he couldn't hear me or something. The eye kept moving around which was very disconcerting as I kept moving around so he could see me. So there I am, on the streets of downtown at 3am, talking to a glass eyed homeless man named Stinton. Only in Colorado Springs people...only in Colorado Springs!

Sunday afternoon I attended a concert. I liked it. It was good. It was held at a church downtown so I adorned myself with suitable attire and proceeded to the event. Lovely time was had by all and enjoyed a rather enjoyable concert. I liked it. It was good.

On my way to my car I ran into....guess who...Stinton. Lovely chap. Come to find out he has a glass eye AND is deaf in one ear. The glass eye is his right eye and the deaf ear is his left ear. Poor schmuck. I offered to buy him a cup of coffee but he said he was allergic to caffeine. I mean, come on. I offered to get him a burger...he said he was a vegan. I thought to myself, this is the pickiest homeless man I have ever met. I also noticed he had a decided limp...come to find out he had no right leg...just a wooden stump. I mean, come on! I was afraid to ask what other appendages he was missing...yikes!  According to him he lost the leg in a nasty wind surfing accident....but come to find out he's from Nebraska....no wonder he lost his leg...I hear wind surfing in Nebraska is a bitch! Come to find out he's a Bama supporter. Of course, it took me a while to figure out exactly who he supported...he kept referring to "Beer-knock"...I'm like, who the hell or what the hell is "Beer-knock". Finally after noticing my confusional facial expressions he said...."You know, Beer-knock Osama". I said, "Oh, you mean Barack Obama?". He said, "Hell yeah, I'm for her, the black lady!". Oh those silly homeless people. By this time, it was time for me to go as most of my nose hair had been singed off by the pungent smell of alcohol, three years without a shower, and the faintest hint of old spice. Good ole Stinton! Only in Colorado Springs people...only in Colorado Springs!


That is all....

So now we're all singing kum ba yah?


Last night I had the pleasure of watching CNN host what they dubbed as "The Faith Forum" from Messiah College. I was completely taken aback at the entire idea of this. Now let me set the record straight that I am a man of faith and have had a faith life ever since I can remember. I grew up in church and if the story is correct, my mother even went into labor with me while sitting in a pew of her home church. So yeah, you could say that faith has been there from the very beginning.

What struck me odd is the idea of these two candidates (John McCain was invited but opted out...hmmmm?) talking about their faith and how that faith has "transformed" their lives and the power of the "Holy Spirit" has been with them since they were children. Neither of them looked terribly comfortable and gave, what I consider, the "sunday school" answer to most questions. I found a lot of rambling nonsense that went on and on. The most striking aspect to me was how they parsed out their faith and belief system into their personal and public lives. Both candidates were aware of their faith and the presence of the "Holy Spirit" being with them but seemed to delineate between their very public lives and their personal journeys. Campbell Brown tried her best to get the Hill to talk about the whole "I never had sex with that woman" scandal and somehow parle that into a whimsical story of how the good Lord saw her through such great emotional trauma and personal tragedy. The Hill didn't go there and rightly so. There is a line between the personal and public journey.

See, what most of the evangelical world wants is for our presidents and senators, and congressman, etc. to be God loving and God fearing individuals and, most importantly, PROFESSING CHRISTIANS. The problem is this....our nation is NOT a christian nation and I would dare say, even some who profess to be christians may not have the slightest clue of what it means to be a christian. The founding father's did not establish our country as a "christian nation" but rather built into it's framework a decided separation of the church and state. This DOES NOT mean that religion is eliminated from the political sphere. On the contrary, references to God, the Deity, the Creator are far from exempt in the writings of the founding fathers. Where they draw the line is the idea of establishing a certain state religion...a religion sanctioned by the government. This was a freedom to practice religion as we see fit, or not at all if your from California....kidding. It was not a freedom FROM religion nor was our country ever intended to be a secular state....far from it. It is undeniable the intent of the founding fathers...read your history books people! Better yet, go to Washington DC and look at the documents for yourself.

All this to say, I was glad to hear that the two Dem candidates have a faith structure in their lives....no matter how genuine or politically motivated. But I will say this...I want my president and leaders to be just that....leaders. And I want them to be leaders for all the people...even my friends who don't acknowledge sweet baby Jesus and are going to burn in the eternal fires of damnation for all eternity separated from all that is good and holy...that was for my heathen friends....see you this weekend! If I want to hear a sermon, then I will go to my church and hear my pastor preach. I don't want to hear it from my president or any of my governmental leaders. Morality is not and should not be legislated from the government. Now I know this flies in the face of my christian duties and responsibilities to "hold up the Light" and "carry the flag and sword of truth". But that is the job of the church at large NOT the government.  Christians can and should fight for what they believe in and should vote those persons who share the same value system....that is what democracy is all about. If you think that references to God should be removed from every nook and cranny of society, then get out there and find the biggest heathen you can and vote em in...just remember, you'll burn in hell forever. 

That is all...