Monday, April 14, 2008

Hi Ho-Hi Ho- It's back to work I go!

Well the vaca is over. The weekend was uneventful....well if you call a hooker name Sheila uneventful!

But seriously. I went out Saturday night with some friends and we had a delightful time. We drank and ate and made fun of people. Ya know, the usual weekend fare. I was up until like's amazing the kind of people that are up at 3am on a Sunday morning. I met this guy named Stinton....he had one eye...a glass basically he couldn't see me. But for some strange reason I felt the need to shout at him like he couldn't hear me or something. The eye kept moving around which was very disconcerting as I kept moving around so he could see me. So there I am, on the streets of downtown at 3am, talking to a glass eyed homeless man named Stinton. Only in Colorado Springs people...only in Colorado Springs!

Sunday afternoon I attended a concert. I liked it. It was good. It was held at a church downtown so I adorned myself with suitable attire and proceeded to the event. Lovely time was had by all and enjoyed a rather enjoyable concert. I liked it. It was good.

On my way to my car I ran into....guess who...Stinton. Lovely chap. Come to find out he has a glass eye AND is deaf in one ear. The glass eye is his right eye and the deaf ear is his left ear. Poor schmuck. I offered to buy him a cup of coffee but he said he was allergic to caffeine. I mean, come on. I offered to get him a burger...he said he was a vegan. I thought to myself, this is the pickiest homeless man I have ever met. I also noticed he had a decided limp...come to find out he had no right leg...just a wooden stump. I mean, come on! I was afraid to ask what other appendages he was missing...yikes!  According to him he lost the leg in a nasty wind surfing accident....but come to find out he's from wonder he lost his leg...I hear wind surfing in Nebraska is a bitch! Come to find out he's a Bama supporter. Of course, it took me a while to figure out exactly who he supported...he kept referring to "Beer-knock"...I'm like, who the hell or what the hell is "Beer-knock". Finally after noticing my confusional facial expressions he said...."You know, Beer-knock Osama". I said, "Oh, you mean Barack Obama?". He said, "Hell yeah, I'm for her, the black lady!". Oh those silly homeless people. By this time, it was time for me to go as most of my nose hair had been singed off by the pungent smell of alcohol, three years without a shower, and the faintest hint of old spice. Good ole Stinton! Only in Colorado Springs people...only in Colorado Springs!

That is all....

1 comment:

Alice the Brit said...

Thanks for the daily laugh - Hilarious...

now we need more deets on sheila love - really just skimming over that bit ;)